It has taken me the better part of 37 years for me to come to the realization that I am by nature, an introvert. Surprising, considering that I’ve been performing as long as I can remember and have always leaned toward the “never-met-a-stranger” side of the personality spectrum. But in many cases, when it comes down to the nitty-gritty of socialization, I’m terrible at anything that goes beyond the usual pleasantries. And it’s not for lack of interest or caring. In fact, it’s the opposite. I wear my heart on my fingertips. I give little thought to investing my emotions into relationships with people, but often times, I keep my thoughts close. Because if I’m being honest, I’m often scared to speak my truth. I know I’m not alone here…
Over time, the walls around our hearts become taller, stronger, and at times seemingly impermeable. And whether that’s due to rejection, protection or pride, the reason isn’t really important. As humans, we’re wired to guard our feelings and withhold our truth from others. Yet, I choose to believe we are also born with an inevitably stronger instinct to break through emotional barriers to form meaningful relationships with incredible people and to strengthen and deepen existing ones. But, this is the hard part. Instincts aren’t necessarily easy to act upon, are they.
Social media solves this dilemma for many of us. Myself included. It allows us to communicate with others without having to actually say anything. I’ll even go as far to say that I know many people now, better than I did years ago when I saw them every day. Because social media provides a safe space to share what’s really going on without having to actually tell someone face-to-face (and heart to heart), what’s really going on. As an extroverted introvert (that’s a thing, right?) I’m okay with that. There are things I should have told people in my life years ago that I didn’t. Because I didn’t know any better, or because I didn’t have the courage, or maturity or insert excuse here…
A few months back, I read a post from a former classmate of mine. The words were somewhat cryptic but I could tell this person was going through a rough patch that went beyond the usual rant about “first world problems”. Their heart was hurting. I could practically feel it. What’s funny is that I haven’t spoken to this person since I was 14 and even then our conversations never went beyond “Do you know the math homework?” Here comes the part when we comment with the tear emoji, or scroll on and pretend we didn’t understand what we just read. But this time, I didn’t scroll. I stopped. I more than understood. And this time I reached out with the only intention of letting this person know they were not alone in this world, and even those who have seen the other side of it understand the pain that goes along with missing important people in our lives. Much to my surprise I heard back, and I read their story. And shared part of mine in hopes to break down the walls and build a connection that would make a difference to someone who really needed to be heard.
We’re all a work in progress. And although we may not hear it every day, even in the moments when we need it most, our hearts are speaking, always reaching out across the world… across the room. The words that go unspoken often times hold more significance than those we speak. I am working on becoming better at speaking from the heart, sharing my truth face to face while living in the present, on purpose and with intention. To share thoughts, and laughter, smiles and fears face-to-face, while and when I have the opportunity.
But in case there’s any doubt, I hope you know…
It goes without saying…I look up to you. You bring your A-game to AddeoFit every single time and although I may never be as strong as you, I’ll die trying!
It goes without saying….that you are my very best friend. You are like kin to me and a hug from you snaps me back instantly to the person who I really am underneath it all.
It goes without saying….I’m stunned by your diagnosis. We’re too young. And if I could do anything to make your cancer go away, I would.
It goes without saying…that you nothing less than a brother to me. And I will never apologize for being fiercely protective of you and your decisions. We’re built from a different cloth than the rest of our family and I’m thankful for that every day:)
It goes without saying…that my heart breaks for how much you miss your kids. As I told you before, children only see a parent’s love. I hope you believe this, and I hope you have the chance to hug your babies again soon!
It goes without saying...that you were right. That’s not easy for me to admit, let alone say. Which is probably why I still haven’t told you.)
It goes without saying…that although we live an ocean and a language apart, our hearts have never stopped talking since we were 17:) Our love for music, dance and living a bit on the wild-side connects us way more than conversation alone ever could.
It goes without saying…I will be your tireless champion. You may not understand it or appreciate it always, and that’s ok. Being your Mom is the hardest work and the greatest joy that I will ever know in life. If you remember one thing, remember that.
It goes without saying…There is no doubt in my mind that something far beyond circumstance led our paths to cross. Endlessly grateful that they did, proving my theory that fire attracts fire to fuel the flames of free spirits.
What is it that you want to say? Maybe it’s something you want to tell a friend. Maybe it’s something you want to tell yourself. It may be scary, and that’s okay. Remember, where there is truth, there is love. Moving past our comfort zones is never a small feat. But it is always there where the magic happens.
Wishing you all a magic in the new year!
